Friday, April 13, 2007

Strange Coinkydink?

If I were Benson man I'd be bummed.

Happy Friday

Awesome website you simply must play with...

You can morph your face or those of anyone else into a baby, a monkey, a Japanese anime cartoon, a white, black, asian person, a Botticelli or El Greco.

Naturally this makes me want to play with picture of famous dickheads. Here i my favorite, which I think is rather appropriate.

Guess who...

Physician Heal thy Greedy Ass Self

I had to take care of an email today that was received at my 9-5 job where usually we work with big companies to save them money on their telephone bills.

Here is the email, which came in via our sales url on the website:

I am a physician in California and would like to have automated software that enables patients to sign up, pay a monthly fee via credit card, and enable telephone contact to me. For example, a patient will pay me $150/month for direct access to me 24/7. However, I would like the whole system to be patient driven via telephone phone or internet, so there would be no labor issues on my end. If possible I would like to patent this package and market it to other physicians.

You gettin' this? This California boob surgeon (okay, making an assumption but it's my blog) wants to charge his patients an EXTRA $150.00 a month to TALK TO HIM. In his world it's no longer enough to overcharge the insurance company who in turn has to overcharge the patient. No, if you want unfettered access to this physician you have to pay him an extra $150.00 a month. Oh, and as the for the technology end of his "patented package" -- the work all has to be done on the patient side. He doesn't want to do anything. Just collect.

I am tempted to post the not-so-good doc's name all over the place to let his patients know how much he cares about them.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Bite My Liberal Ass

Ted Velvet came under attack by weak-blooded, Fairfield County-type, country music loving, smug-faced, follow-the-leader, douchebag Bush lovers this week because of Ted's latest eloquent attack on Punkin'Puss' most recent disregard of Congress.

My thoughts from the plethora of comments received:

1. There seemed to be an almost unhinged reaction to our man Ted's colorful use of language. What, Republican's don't say Fuck? Tell that to Cheney.

2. No one actually disagrees with anything Ted says.

3. Right wing automotons can't spell: "You ar what is wrong with the nation, not a president. Disn't you guys promise to go to Canada?

4. These people are fucking scary: "That is why people like velvet need to be controlled as do "abusers" who incite vilolence on using the internet...

Okay Ted got it? Don't curse, go to Canada where apparently all the really bad American dissidents go, and stop inciting vilolence on the Internet.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Amish Swimwear

This ain't your great grandma's bathing costume...

My morning dose of Daily Candy -- the oh so fashion forward news of the day -- left a poop in my inbox.

"Wholesomewear, a line a swimwear for the modest beachgoer."

Yippee I thought, maybe something has finally emerged for the rest of us for a change...

Uhhhhh... well, I'm not quite ready to dress like an Amish hausfrau at the beach if there were beaches anywhere near the landlocked Amish hausfraus. Yikes!

If I walked down the beach wearing one of these throwbacks to the turn of the LAST century I'd have a line of little Mormon kids waddling after me like ducks.

And lets face it...isn't that who these garments are intended for?? The fundamentalist right wing "drag your daughters back to the stoneage" set? Somehow I don't think the ultra conservative mom who homeschools her 19 kids in between prayer meetings is subscribing to email post that focuses on hip fashion in trendy hotspots of the world.

Or is Lancaster PA the next Milan???

Friday, March 16, 2007

Holy Reincarnation Batman

I am not yet dead.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


The best answer to just about any moron is making fun of him...