Yucca - More Insidious than the Republican Party

I live on a corner and have a steep driveway on the sidestreet next to park. Some genius previous owner decided to plant Yucca down one side of the driveway. They are huge and not very attractive so Kevin and I decided to remove them.

Evil thy name is Yucca.

These things are damn near impossible to remove. They're probably about 50 years old and the main roots are the size of a coffee can in diameter. They're tuborous and fiberous, so you pull on a root, it breaks. Trying to dig these puppies up is a nightmare -- thousands of little "fingers" of roots that are everywhere. If you leave so much as one little piece of plant in the ground it will reroot and come back. The labor is backbreaking and we barely put a dent in it. Kevin took a chainsaw to the tops and we started hacking away with axes and trying to pry them out with leverage. I want to just pour gasoline on them and send them to Allah but supposedly that doesn't even kill them. We had dinner last night with an ex Navy man who suggested homemade Napalm, but I'm not even sure that will do the trick. We're starting to think we might have to rent a backhoe and dig out the entire side lawn just to get rid of these ugly waterhogs.

I am going to kill each and every one of those plants if its the last thing I do. I'm going to kill them along with the little SOBs who took spray paint and Sharpies to the playscape in the park next to the house. I spent Saturday morning scrubbing slides. Little kids trying to play should not need to see "fuck" in white paint if they want to ride a swing. I have to say Goof Off does a great job on graffiti. One of the messages read: "If you read this your fucken dum." No, stupid little shithead tagger, you're fucking dumb.