Riddle Me This Santa...

1. Yeah, Hermie's gay. Everyone knows it. I mean, just look at that hair. But he's always had a good grip on his differences, doesn't care who knows he want's to be a dentist. But there are a great number of other "questionable" issues that crop up for me each year when the holiday specials arrive. Like what's wrong with the doll on the Island of Misfit Toys? And why is the Reindeer Games coach such a prick? And why does Rudolph talk like he's got a wad of cotton shoved up his shiny red nose? Questions that have haunted my dreams...

And apparently, I'm not the only one. Read on Max Burbank's dissertation on "Sixteen Serious Questions Raised by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and get yourself some Yuletide edgeimication.2. What the frack is this penguin's name already? Mickey Rooney Santa Claus find him in the forest and when I was a kid his name was "Waddles". Now his name is "Topper". What's up with that? It's driving me crazy.